
It's hard to explain the mixed bag of emotions that keep spinning around inside my chest, each taking their turn to make me burst into tears or gleefully laugh out loud. Only 5 more days, and our first 'Elder Judd' will be home safe and sound. I thought I'd share his last email to home. Part of me thinks the boy I will be hugging at the airport is someone I've never met before...
hi mom!life is great here in clarion and despite the bad weather we are sowing seeds! my feelings have been very near the surface these past few days. the feeling of approaching loss can’t be described. life is good, and the work is wonderful. I love my mission. It's absolutely impossible for me to articulate how these two years have affected me. I KNOW that it has literally changed me and set a course for my life. While I long to see the beautiful faces of my family, my heart aches to stay. I, along with more than fifty thousand others, am ” set apart from the world to a higher plane of thought and activity”, and I don’t want to come back down. Not yet.
I have become consumed by the fire of this work. I have consecrated these two years to my Heavenly Father and because of it so many things seem clearer to me. And there are so many things I need to learn. BUT I have learned things that could not have possibly been taught to me in any other place! This has given me fresh eyes and a fresh heart.
The lord gave me my mission as a gift. This is my errand from the Lord. I could never have served anywhere else. The Lord has given me this portion of his vineyard and I have been hard on myself and have done my best of every waking moment to humbly and prayerfully serve Him. consistency is a blessing of humility. I was thinking the other night of home and how exited I am, how happy I am and how absolutely scared I am to be coming home – when almost immediately these words of the apostle came to my mind……
“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
NAY!, in all these things WE ARE MORE THAN CONQUERORS through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
I know that things will work out. I love my Savior and he loves me. I know that I am nothing, I know this church is true, and that Christ is at it's head. I know that our wishes and prayers are only gratified and answered when they are in harmony with our thoughts and actions. Joseph Smith was an honest man. What an incredible testimony Elder Holland gave this past weekend.
How are things at home? the pictures of the boys with the cougarettes were hilarious. and sarah is a beautiful young woman. dad's talk was simply great. pretty sure i was crying in the subway as i was reading it. regrets and reunions. I love you and hug benji and parker and sarah for me.
Elder judd